Lost your motivation? Where's it went & how to get it back


Eileen Durward
@EileenDurward


30 July 2018

Read the full video transcript below

Today's topic

Hello, and welcome to my weekly video blog. And today, on A.Vogel Talks Menopause, I'm going to be talking about lack of motivation, why it can happen, and maybe some little self-help tips that can give you a bit of a boost.

Now, I talk to many women on a regular basis and one of the patterns that seems to be emerging is how many of them say to me,"I just can't be bothered. I'm fed up. I just don't have the energy or the wherewithal to do things that I used to get a lot of pleasure from." 

What you can feel less motivated about during menopause

Exercise

Now, these main areas seem to be exercise, I think that's the main one. It's just lack of energy or just the thought of going down the gym, of going outside, of doing things that maybe not so long ago you were really throwing yourself into.

Work

Work is a huge one, and this can be a worrying one as well. If you have a job that you normally love, and suddenly, you wake up in the morning, and you don't even want to go to work, or that you're finding that the tasks that you normally do at work are becoming more of a chore, or that you just can't be bothered to get things done, you know.

I know for myself sometimes there's a huge pile in my in-tray, and I just sit there thinking, "I think I would rather be outside doing something else."  

Socialising

Socialising is another big one, too. And a lot of women tell me that just the thought of having to get dressed up, to put the makeup on, and to put a smile on their face just seems so overwhelming.

Things you used to enjoy

Other things, too, can start creating an issue. Watching your favourite TV program, you can suddenly think, "I can't be bothered to watch that anymore."

Reading, and that was a big one for me. I love reading, and it just got to the point at night where I couldn't even be bothered to pick up a book. And, you know, for me, reading is not only about pleasure, but I do a lot of reading for my work, and it just seems sometimes that I just couldn't be bothered, just couldn't be bothered to face it.  

Hobbies

We've got hobbies, too, and a lot of women have nice hobbies that they really enjoy, that they look forward to, and they can start to become a real chore. Some women tell me they just give them up. They haven't done the things that they used to love, maybe for a couple of years.

Trying new things

Trying new things as well can be quite daunting. You can be faced with something that maybe years ago you would love a challenge and now, you just think, "Don't want to. Can't be bothered."

Going to holiday/traveling

And another one which is very interesting, I was talking to somebody last week, and they were telling me that they were going on holiday. They were going abroad, and they just couldn't be bothered. And she said to me that she couldn't understand why she loved going on holiday, but she hadn't even started packing, and she just said, "I can't be bothered. What's wrong here?" 

What can make you lose your motivation during menopause?

So this loss of motivation or lack of motivation can spread throughout your everyday life, and all through the special areas of your life as well. And one of the issues that can be dragged into it is that if you are doing these things with friends or a partner, then the guilt can start to creep in as well because you don't want to let the other person down.  

But if you're having to force yourself to do something that you don't want to then the resentment can build up as well, and that can start to cause arguments or even loss of friendships as well. So why on earth does this happen when it can cause us such a lot of angst? A number of things.

Feeling low / mood swings

If you think about going through the menopause, you can be having the mood swings, there can be low mood, you can be in the midst of a great deal of anxiety, poor sleep, and fatigue.  

Poor sleep

If you're not getting a proper night's sleep, if you're already tired, and especially if you're doing things in the evening, if you had a hard day at work where you've really had to force yourself to do things, then by the time you get home and at the weekends, you just don't have the energy to rouse yourself to start doing these things that you used to like.  

Physical symptoms draining your energy

And there's also the physical aspect as well. If you're getting a lot of hot flushes, if you're getting the joint pain, if you're getting the headaches or feeling nausea, the last thing that you really want to be doing is going out and doing other things with friends or your partner.

What you can do to get your motivation back

So what can you do about this? It's really about taking care of yourself, this whole thing about, remember to put yourself first at least some of the time when you're going through the menopause. 

Watch your blood sugar levels

So make sure that you keep your blood sugar levels stable. I've talked about this once, so for any of you who want to do a little bit of revision, there will be a number of links here on the page that can take you back to these other subjects.

Drink less caffeine and more water

Obviously, caffeine is a big one. Dehydration, it is another one as well because these can really deplete you of energy as well, and that can compound the problem, too. 

Vitamins & Minerals

Magnesium, make sure that you're getting plenty of magnesium, maybe a nice vitamin B complex as well, just to give your nervous system a little bit of an energy boost.

A herbal booster

If you're feeling really low, if you're feeling down, you could look at the herb Hypericum. It's a nice little mental booster as well, but just remember, there are a lot of contraindications if you're on prescribed medications, so please double-check with that one first.  

Be thankful

You can look at - one of the things I find gives me a little bit of a boost is to do a gratitude list every day. I've got a little book, don't always remember to do it everyday, especially if I'm in a bit of a rush, but it's just first thing in the morning or last thing at night, it's just to write down maybe three or four things that have been really nice about your day or that you feel really grateful for, and as I say, I find that helps to really lift me up, and it makes me feel a lot better.  

Try new things

You could try maybe doing a few new things. And one of the interesting things I've found going through the menopause is you may get fed up of the things that you normally do, but there may be something at the back of your mind, there may be something that you've been yearning to do for a long, long time, so maybe look into that because sometimes doing something really special can just give you a bit of a boost and a lift. 

Stop multitasking

Multitasking, now, this is one, we women we're so proud of the fact that we can multitask, you know, we can do 10 different things all at once on a daily basis. This is a really hard one in the menopause. And I think multitasking should be banned in the menopause because we very often can't cope with doing even one or two things on a daily basis when we're going through the menopause, especially if our energy and our mood is low.  

It can be really overwhelming, so try to just focus on one thing at a time. And one of the things that I've learned is to stop worrying about things that are a day or two ahead, a week ahead, and just focus on what I've got to do today, and that helps me cope a little bit better.

Sleep better

If you're having problems sleeping because of hot flushes, because of night sweats, you can look at the Sage tablet with your evening meal, or if it's just specifically sleep that's bringing you down, you can look at our Dormeasan which can very often help to give you a better night's sleep.  

Just remember though that this is a phase of the menopause. It's one that you tend to go through, and you do come out the other end, so I can just about guarantee that because I know for me that's not so much of an issue now. But when you're in this state, when you're feeling really fatigued and when you don't want to do anything, very often, it's just your body trying to tell you to slow down and to give yourself that little bit of me time.  

So it's a good idea to listen to your body, and if you can give yourself plenty of good rest, then you may find that that motivation starts to come back. So I hope this has helped. If any of you have had any problems with motivation or any of you have found really good ways to deal with it, then we would love to hear all about it.  

So have a good week. And I will see you next week on another A.Vogel Talks Menopause.

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